“While producing art works, illusions appear from time to time due to my mental illness. Every day is a struggle for me.”
I recently had the privilege to see Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition at The Broad museum here in Los Angeles. I knew absolutely nothing about her prior to going which is a bit unlike me. I like knowing everything about the person before checking out their work. In this case, her exhibition looked magical and I can always use magic in my life.
My student told me to look into her story and once I did, my admiration for her only grew. Like my idol Frida Kahlo, they both paint their reality. Frida painted her painful, tormented life and marriage while Yayoi paints her hallucinations. I was surprised to see how parts of her work displayed similarities to that of my Ayahuasca experience. However, it made perfect sense once discovering that she suffers from intense audio-visual hallucinations among other mental issues. These hallucinations started while being abused by her mother during childhood and have continued her whole life. Yayoi is 88 years old and has lived in a psychiatric hospital in Japan since 1977. Her art studio is across the street where she walks to and works daily. She states that if it wasn’t for the escape her art offers her, she would have killed herself.
I find Yayoi Kusama and Frida Kahlo to be such inspirational women. At a young age, they went through something dramatic that could have crippled them forever, yet they persevered. Would they have shared their work with the world if it wasn’t for the trauma experienced during childhood? Was that a necessary part in order for their gifts to manifest? I don’t know. There’s so much about life that we question and wish to know and yet we most likely never will.
What I do know, is that if you look at the story of someone you admire, that you deem successful, and aspire to accomplish what they have accomplished, a lot of times you will find past trauma came from a rough start in life. It is during this time that we are shaped and molded into what we become today. Like these women, giving up and playing the victim was not an option and although Frida was crippled in her body and Yayoi deals with mental disease, they both persevered and continue to inspire.
You don’t always know someone else’s story. Choose to be inspired by others and yourself. Live and develop your story. Your truth.