I’ve been listening to a lot of NPR’s, “How I Built This,” and what I’ve come to realize is that the most popular and successful household brands had no idea what they were doing when they started. Neither did I with my online classes. I knew one aspect of it which also happens to be my passion, Yoga. When people encouraged me to do it, they said, I would just have to release 14 classes. I never ever thought a blog would be necessary and probably laughed at the people who called themselves bloggers. I never realized I would have to do marketing and learn boring concepts that make me want to break out in a rash like SEO and CTA.
Last week in my classes, the ongoing theme was knowing your WHY.
Why we do what we do? Why do we choose the city we live in? A particular career? Our friends? Our life partners?
It all started with me trying to decide if I wanted to lead a Fall 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training. I kept searching and asking myself why, as this training is a huge task and I just couldn’t come up with enough answers to excite me.
I tend to always need to know the WHY of my choices. At the same time, I was very disappointed in the actions of a friend and I kept asking myself, is this friendship worth fighting for? Why would I choose to fight for this?
If you’ve been to one of my public classes in the past year, you will hear me say “be at peace” at the end of class. It is something I wish for in myself and others. For better or worse, we tend to duplicate the same pattern of behavior we ourselves were shown and experienced growing up. Take a second and try to honestly think back to your childhood. What kind of household were you raised in? What behaviors you learned as a child then are you duplicating now as an adult? The first step to maturity is becoming aware and noticing if the patterns you’re recreating from childhood are helping your potential or hindering your current life.
My biological parents and early gymnastics coaches communicated through physical and emotional abuse. It’s no surprise that, as an adult, I’m prone to acting out of anxiety and fear. Lately, I’ve been experiencing longer periods of peace.
I recently read a quote that went something like this; know when to have the courage to hold on and the strength to let go. I haven’t been able to find the quote but I’ve thought about it quite a bit. I have been in my relationship for almost 10 years and my career for seven. They both have had their highs and lows as life often gives you both. When I started my teaching career and often had less than 10 people in class, I had to trust and allow it to unfold without giving up even though, I made less than $20,000 my first year. I needed the strength to hold on. When my relationship was at a low as we were both trying to build our careers and were running on empty, I needed the courage to hold on. In both of these situations, I knew the story was not yet over. My career was just starting and as tough and competitive as teaching yoga in Los Angeles can be, it was what my heart desired most. Likewise, as I had spent the previous years building a strong foundation in my relationship, I had to trust that it was enough as I switched my focus to developing the same foundation in my career. Life is often a juggling act. It’s tough to hold on when you have days or at times weeks when you just want to say it “fuck this” and buy a one-way ticket out or just keep driving. To me, this is when “foundation” comes into play. This is what we strive for on and off the mat. The will to hold on because you didn’t come this far to only comer this far. To remember that you’re building a strong foundation and that takes time. To remember that this is temporary and the work done now will give you the freedom later. In any case, you need to know why you’re doing any of this. You need to hold on to that why and choose your courage so you can reach your potential and not say “fuck it.”
On the flip side, to have the strength let go of something that you know has run its course isn’t easy either. If we’re being honest with ourselves, this often happens in friendships, romantic relationships and careers. Who we were than is not who we are now. Either the energy doesn’t flow with ease (making us feel stuck, trapped, anxious, and angry), or it becomes evident that this chapter of our life is over. We often lie to ourselves a bit longer; it takes time to figure out that a transition is necessary in order for us to continue growing as human beings. It’s tough to accept when a relationship has run it’s course. It’s tough to accept when your career no longer inspires you or fits who you are today. The strength and the trust has to be there to move on to the next chapter of your life.
So I ask: If you look at yourself right now, what part of your life requires you to have the courage to hold on? To patiently wait a little longer? To give yourself a chance you deserve to reach your potential? What part of your life requires you to have the strength to let go? You can lie to others but be honest with yourself? Have any aspects of your life run their course? Are you just holding on due to your comfort zone? You get one shot at life. Give yourself a chance.